IN MEMORIAM

William John Sabin

Nov. 13, 1941 - June 25, 2006

Beloved father and grandfather

Painting, Doha Cultural Festival 2005

Breech of Trust

As much as we have enjoyed our stay here in Qatar, it seems that we may be leaving soon. We’ve had a dispute with our employer over electricity. When we originally contracted to come to Qatar two years ago, we were promised no electric bills (that was part of our contract). It seems that they have unilaterally decided not to pay for that anymore… which is fine, but for the fact that they are breaking their agreement with us.

The amount of money isn’t huge, it’s about 1000 rials per month, but the point is that it is something that they agreed to pay for, and it amounts to a pay cut for us. If they can cavalierly ignore this part of their promise to us, then likewise they can ignore any other part of the contract. It’s a matter of honor at this point. We won’t work for those who don’t honor the contracts that they make.

Holy Qur’an, Surah Baqarah 177:

“It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or west; but it is righteousness- to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfill the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing.”

We have tried to negotiate this, and we are willing to be flexible with it, ie accept a nominal pay raise that would approximate the electric bill, or receive some other benefit of comparable value, but to no avail. They refused and said that if we don’t like it, we can leave Qatar.

Unlike most, we didn’t come here for the money, in fact we made quite a bit more money in the US than we make here, but that’s fine… we are quite satisfied with that, and agreed to it. We don’t really care much about money per se. What this issue brings up is more about trust than money. If an employee cannot trust his employer to honor his part of the contract (and vice versa), morale will suffer and trust erode. As Muslims we expect those that we work for to be honorable, and failing that, we will find opportunities elsewhere.

As with most things here, there is probably more to this story than we are aware of. The employer has passed it off as a decision from the Ministry, something that they have no control over… but the fact still remains that they are no longer paying for something that they agreed to pay for.

Qatar has a lot of potential. I think that His Highness the Amir in particular is a wonderful leader. He is probably the most enlightened head of state in the Islamic world, and they are doing a lot of things right here, which is one of the reasons that we chose to come here in the first place. Qatar is becoming one of the planet's greatest success stories, and could eventually become instrumental in helping to restore Islamic culture and civilization to its former heights. But on the other hand, if Qatar loses sight of the needs of the people who are helping to build this place, and if it loses their goodwill and confidence, the task of cultivating a prosperous, thriving, and enlightened society may well prove impossible.

In Islam we generally don’t speak of things that are negative unless the situation is quite serious. In keeping with this, I rarely mention things that may be bad or difficult. Yet this situation crosses the line, as a pledge has been broken. While I have been a strong advocate of Qatar in the past, in light of this breech of trust, it is with deep regret that I say that I can no longer recommend Qatar as a place that ex-patriates should seek employment, or as a place to which Muslims should make hijrah.

In any case, we’re not sure what we’re going to do next, international moves take time, but expect Life in Exile to relocate in the coming months. We have short-listed the UAE, Kuwait and New Zealand so far!

Holy Qur’an, Surah Al-Mutaffifin (Defrauding, The Cheats, Cheating) 1-12:


In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful.

Woe to those that deal in fraud,
Those who, when they have to receive by measure from men, exact full measure,
But when they have to give by measure or weight to men, give less than due.
Do they not think that they will be called to account?
On a Mighty Day,
A Day when (all) mankind will stand before the Lord of the Worlds?
Nay! Surely the record of the wicked is (preserved) in Sijjin*.
And what will explain to thee what Sijjin is?
There is) a Register (fully) inscribed.
Woe, that Day, to those that deny
Those that deny the Day of Judgment.
And none can deny it but the Transgressor beyond bounds, the Sinner!

* from the noun “sijn” meaning “prison”, the term Sijjin here refers to something lasting and inescapable.

Expat Math

I walked into a hardware store a while back, needing a couple of items. I found what I was looking for, and it was clearly priced at thirteen rials. I confirmed this with the (Indian) clerk, then grabbed two and handed them to him. He said “Thirty rials”.

I said, “No, they’re priced at thirteen each.” He said “Yes, thirteen for one, but two for thirty”. I said “Thirteen and thirteen are twenty six, not thirty”. He said “Two for thirty”. I said “That’s not correct, what are you trying to do?” He said “Two for thirty”. I got out a piece of paper and added the figures for him…. thirteen plus thirteen equals twenty six. He said “Oh, I’m so sorry! I was wrong!”

Then he scribbles something on the piece of paper. “Twenty six and twenty six equal fifty two! Fifty two rials please!” He announces proudly.

Luckily I had exact change.

Castles of Sand

This past Eid al-Adha sand castles were built throughout the largest shopping mall here (City Center). Security guards were posted at them to prevent their destruction by overly enthusiastic kids. At the end of the celebration though, the kids did win out in some cases, as at least several were destroyed! Big fun.





These aren't the only castles in the sand here, as Qatar is experiencing a massive construction boom. Building sites are visible everywhere. The upcoming Asian Games are a contributing factor, but for the most part it's just growth. The local economy is expanding rapidly, and thus so is the need for housing, commercial and retail space, as well as expanded infrastructure.

Some of the houses are fantastic, an architect's dream. There has been an evolution of sorts here regarding housing. The older houses are mostly simple single story houses, large by American standards (in a sprawling, spread out sort of way), but small by current standards here. These are usually 20 or more years old.

Next are boxy types of large two and three story houses. These are usually 3000 square feet and more, maybe much more, and while not aesthetically displeasing, are fairly simple in appearance. These have been constructed within the past 20 years, and most within the past ten.

The newest houses, from the last few years, are very ornate. Most are built using cast-crete, cement that's poured into styrofoam molds to create fantastic special effects. They use it to make ornate trim components to the exterior, lots of domes and other external features and it makes for very creative walls.



Virtually every house here, old or new, has a wall for privacy. The older ones are simple and plain, among the newer ones more design features are evident and no two seem to be alike.





This is upper middle class housing for Qataris. When finished they are usually painted in light colors, white or beige most often, like the desert here. Some come a bit more vibrant. Standard features are two separate large living rooms, one for the men, and one for the women (and often a third smaller one upstairs), several bedrooms... 4 to 6 or so, a maid's quarters, and two kitchens. One kitchen is in the main house, and is used only for convenience. The main kitchen is usually out back in a separate building, often attached to a laundry room and the maid's quarters. Some plant gardens on the roof, and all have a walled yard for privacy.

Here's Some More

recent photos of the kids (okay, okay, I promise I'll knock it off soon, just indulge me a little bit here!)

First is my oldest, Shamsuddin. He's six and a holy terror! He loves to ride his bike, ride horses, and make trips to the desert. Exploring ruins or riding four-wheelers on the dunes are tied for his favorite pastimes out there.


Shams

Next comes my daughter Elia. She's three, loves to draw and help cook, and loves her kitty almost as much as she does her big brother... he's her hero, and she says she is going to marry him (no comment). She has a fantastic imagination, and concocts intricate stories about her life.


Elia

Finally there is Sema, my youngest. She is thirteen months old. She is a calm, happy baby, but her temper does flare up if she gets pushed far enough (try taking away her baby-doll... just try it, I DARE you!). Her major goal in life is to outdo her siblings.


Sema

Tuckered Out

My Youngest Daughter Turned One

awhile back. I know we've already done the baby-destroys-the-cake thing on this blog, but what the heck, here's an encore, this time in strawberry!


Anticipation

Sheer Pleasure

Abject Destruction

She's walking and talking these days, full of energy and absolutely determined to do everything her big sister does.

I Am Back...

Marima


I haven’t been blogging much lately. We made a trip to Turkey this summer, then didn’t have a maid for months when we got back, thus the duties of domestic life trumped blogging for the most part. Since that time, we have hired a wonderful new maid from Ethiopia, her name is Marima, and she's been a Godsend.

I’ve also been active elsewhere on the net. I try to keep religion and politics fairly toned down in this blog. As a resource about life in Qatar, I think it appeals to a wide variety of people who may have greatly disparate ideas about such things. I think that within the scope of a blog like this, excessive commentary about specific political or religious views detracts from it’s usefulness, so therefore I take it elsewhere. Two places I contribute to regularly are Daily Kos, and Street Prophets, for political and religious commentary, respectively.

The fortunate thing about a blog of this nature is that the information therein doesn’t change much, and what I wrote about a year ago still holds true today. In any case, I am back.

Cardamom Pods

Painting, Doha Cultural Festival 2005 

Painting, Doha Cultural Festival 2005 

Ostrich eggs 

This is number two, our eldest daughter 

She's a princess 

She loves high heels! 

Number two turned three recently 

Elephant with make-up, Doha zoo 

Number three is almost ten months old now 

Chocolate cake! 

My youngest is crawling 

Date harvest 

It's Date Season

The dates are finally getting ripe. After weeks of blistering heat they are starting to turn brown. While still not completely ripe, they are quite good even now... those pictured above are current.

Here's a picture of my youngest

She's five months old now

Nursing mother

The baby latches on

Nursing Mother

Here’s something kind of cute. This is a breastfeeding doll. These are hand-made by a women’s group in Saudi Arabia to raise awareness about breastfeeding. Breastfeeding rates in the Gulf are still pretty good, but they are falling as the economies modernize. This doll is part of an effort to slow or stop that trend.

Painting, Doha Cultural Festival 2005

Swimsuits

Summer Swimsuit Edition!

Here are some pictures of swimsuits that I found on-line. These aren’t actually from Qatar, but you will see these here, especially among Arab ex-pats. My wife is having one brought back from Egypt. Wearing a get up like this isn’t necessary, but it does tend to cut down on the stare factor.

Other ways that women deal with this problem are to swim in indoor women-only pools, to swim with an abaya covering the body (a bit impractical unless you’re just wading), to swim in remote locations far from prying eyes (best bet), or to forego swimming altogether. With even night time temperatures climbing into the thirties, this last option would be unfortunate. One more option is whenever you swim, to bring along your mean and nasty western ex-pat husband to kick some serious behind if anybody gets impolite.

Carpets

Persian Rugs

This might be one of the best places on Earth to buy Oriental rugs. The reason being that Iran and Turkey are close by (you could hit Iran with a rock from here), and the market is highly competitive. The demand for these rugs is huge, as the locals buy plenty of them for their own houses.

Due to this, there are plenty of sellers, and plenty of deals. You have to know what you’re doing to a certain extent. The best bet is to take a Qatari friend with you to buy rugs. You’ll get a good deal, and it will be a small fraction of what you would pay in the west (and also a small fraction of what you might pay without your Qatari friend!).

Another option is to buy them at the source, but I doubt that any amount of negotiation will produce prices there that are much better than they are here.. you’ll get the whole “tourist prices” thing going there. Also there are no export duties on them here, or problems with customs, so unless you speak Farsi fluently…buy ‘em here

Old Qatar

Near Rayyan

Corniche

Skyscrapers

Sheraton Hotel

Houses

Smart and Lazy

I have been giving some thought as to what sort of personal qualities are necessary to make a successful adjustment to the culture here. I haven’t been here all that long yet, but already I have seen several people come and go. Some in fact run away screaming in short order!

Adjusting to life in the Gulf is a big step for western ex-pats. In some ways it could be said that there is no culture on earth as foreign to a westerner as what we find here in the Gulf. Before I proceed any further, I want you to check out this --> article <-- by Bob Wallace. The article is talking about military officers and politicians, but I think the concept extends to most jobs here as well.

I won’t address the stupid/smart dichotomy, I’m not sure that it makes that much difference anyway. Smart is generally good I suppose, ...I wouldn’t know. The active/lazy dichotomy is very telling though. “Actives” will likely get chewed up and spit out quickly here in the Gulf.

The analogy is kind of strained, it’s not that being “lazy” is a virtue here per se… an aversion to work is not an advantage here by any means. I think the analogy applies if we consider “lazy” as meaning not attached to certain outcomes, flexible, and not particularly caring if things don’t work the way that we would prefer.

“Active” we could interpret as people who have a specific agenda, with certain goals and timetables that are fixed. People fitting that description should not even give the Gulf a second glance. Nothing here goes according to plan, the rules change, the priorities are often unknown, and it may well be that the plan itself is scrapped or profoundly altered at any given time …usually at the last minute.

On the other hand, huge skyscrapers are being built, the oil and gas continues to flow, the projects get financed, etc. In short, everything does get accomplished here sooner or later, just not necessarily in the way that you may have thought or preferred. The culture here is vastly different from the west, especially the corporate culture. Those flexible and patient enough to watch it and learn from it will likely do well. Those who try to re-create the western model here will probably spend many hours banging their heads against walls.

The people I have witnessed who have not adapted well usually had pre-conceived ideas of just what they were going to accomplish here. When the realities of Qatar (invariably) alter or demolish those plans, frustration sets in. A better approach for a new ex-pat here is to have no agenda at all. Just come on over, get settled in, and sit back and watch for a while. After some time passes it will become much clearer what sorts of things might work in the Gulf, and what sort won’t.

Western ex-pats get paid a lot of money here. We are paid well because Qatari industries want to know how western companies accomplish certain things… in a sense they are buying our knowledge. Whether or not they will use that knowledge is another story entirely. In fact, they may choose an approach to a problem that strikes you as not only bizarre, but actually counter-productive, then later you may come to find out that their way actually works (here) pretty well. The trick is to be available to help, and offer your expertise freely, but not be concerned if they don’t implement your solutions.

In short, if you’re coming here to change things… don’t bother, but if you’re coming here for a relaxed lifestyle and an unusual adventure …come on over!

Introducing Fulla

Fulla Dolls

Fulla With

Fulla Without

Fulla Rocks

I would like to introduce you to Fulla. Fulla is the Arabian answer to Barbie.

Barbie of course is well known here, in fact she is found in practically every toy shop, …and so is Fulla.

Fulla came about as a result of dissatisfaction about Barbie, and the values, or even the mindset, that she represents. To someone living here, Barbie isn’t considered an adequate role model for little girls. She represents much of what is thought to be wrong with modern culture and society. The problem stems from completely different attitudes here and in the west regarding privacy and modesty.

In the west, a woman’s beauty is public. The public in fact demands to be able to compare, sort and judge, based upon a woman’s appearance. Women are encouraged to look “pretty”, and wear the correct clothing and accoutrements to meet with public approval. Young women are especially vulnerable to the demands put upon them by society in regards to their appearance.

In short, women in the west are required to put on a public show, as it were, and be judged thereby. Much of the clothing worn is designed to look sexy, and draw attention. I suppose that the one who draws the most attention wins. Barbie is often the first teacher that little western girls get in how to play this game.

Here privacy is the rule. A woman’s appearance is a private matter, and hers to control. A woman’s beauty isn’t a public commodity to be on display for all to see. Women here generally try to deflect attention from their appearance, rather than attract it. Modesty is reflected in the choice of dress adopted by most women in public.

To be able to see a Qatari woman without her abaya and niqab is a privilege, not a right, and it’s a carefully administered privilege at that. As a woman, it isn’t so difficult to see Qatari ladies in this way, it’s simply a matter of being invited to a social function, or to someone’s home, or possibly an everyday occurrence at work. As a man, seeing Qatari ladies without their traditional covering is fairly uncommon, although he may see them at work, or even in public (those who choose not to cover).

To someone living here, Barbie, and what she represents is shallow and superficial. Women here would rather be judged by their conduct, piety, or intelligence than by their fashion sense. To be forced to compete on that level seems rather like being a piece of meat on display.

Thus Fulla came about.

Fulla fits into all of Barbie’s clothes, although she has a full line of her own as well. Fulla likes Barbie’s clothes in fact, and frequently wears them, but when she goes out to the souqs, or to work, she makes sure to put on her abaya and hijab.

Fulla comes with a range of tastes as well. She needn’t wear an abaya, some sets include only a hijab (head covering), with the rest of the clothing being indistinguishable from modest western clothes. Other Fullas are very conservative, reflecting the varying standards and tastes in the Muslim world.

The point is, that Fulla can reflect and preserve the values of the Gulf, whereas Barbie challenges them. Both are available here, and parents may choose which one they buy for their little girls.

The best doll I have seen in this category, is a generic knock-off. She looks like Barbie, but is sold in a set where she is a physician. She comes with a labcoat over her clothes, and has a full range of equipment available with which to conduct physical exams. She can even collect lab specimens.

In my opinion, that “Dr. Barbie” presents a much better role model for young girls than the anorexic slave-to-fashion ever did.

Fulla on the go

Potty training

Chocolate chips!

Barbie Chips

I was looking through some photos today and came across these. They are from last fall when we potty-trained my elder daughter. We got a good laugh out of them so I thought I would share.

My youngest was on the way, so it was a good time to discuss bodily functions with #2, and if she showed interest, to go ahead and potty train her. We bought her the pink pony potty pictured above. She loved it but wasn’t terribly interested in putting it to it’s appointed use at first.

Through graphic models and diagrams, we strived to convey the general idea to her as best we could. The play-doh baby below was the first attempt. Next we moved on to the “Barbie Method”, above. “Barbie”, as we all know, is a big girl, and doesn’t use diapers anymore. She goes on the big girl potty.

The key to the lesson was in surreptitiously placing a couple of chocolate chips into the potty after Barbie took her seat. My daughter was amazed! She became very excited and motivated to give it a try herself, and was potty trained in five days time.

The only drawback to this method is that she was slightly disappointed when what came out wasn’t exactly…. chocolate chips. Ahh well, she soon forgot as we slipped her a few for a job well done.

Play Doh baby

Surprise!

Hijabi Crossing

Most signs are bilingual Arabic/English

For Hire

Working Women

My wife is on reduced working hours due to the birth of our daughter this past December. Under Qatari law, ex-pat women are entitled to 40 days maternity leave with pay, plus one year of “mother’s hours”, ie a shortened workday to allow the mother to nurse or otherwise care for her new baby. This is at full pay of course.

It’s even better for Qatari women. They get 60 days official maternity leave, plus two years of “mother’s hours”. Considering that the birth rate here is still pretty high… an average of five children per family, this can add up to quite a bit of time off. Family always trumps work in this culture… praise God!

I think the liberal allowances are part of an effort to keep Qatari women active in the economy. A whole range of benefits open up to women who work outside the home, in addition to their salaries, so more are entering the workforce. It’s hard to get solid data on this, but it appears that the majority of single women work now, and a fair plurality of married women as well, maybe a quarter to a third, based upon informal observation.

Educational levels are rising too. Among people under forty, about half of Qataris are college educated, with women actually out-achieving men in this respect. Women typically go to college here in Qatar, whereas the men more often go abroad, although many women do go abroad as well.

Some families are hesitant to send their children (especially girls) off to a foreign university. Visions of western film depictions of collegiate life haunt these parents. For them, Qatar University has been the traditional venue of choice. Until recently this was the only local option, but now that is changing too.

It has been somewhat more difficult in recent years to obtain education visas to the United States, formerly a common choice for many Qataris for their secondary education. Add to this the hesitancy on the part of some parents to send their kids so far away, and to such a dramatically different culture, and you can see that there is an enormous demand for more local educational options.

Rather than send the Qataris to the foreign universities, the new trend is to bring the foreign universities to Qatar. Several universities have opened branches in Qatar recently, most notably Cornell and it’s new medical school. This makes the logistics of sending students to college much easier on the parents, and makes Qatar less dependent upon foreign resources for the education of it’s young people.

Mural, Doha Cultural Festival, 2005

I'm Sorry!

Ooops! It looks like I owe the United Arab Emirates an apology! My site was NOT in fact banned specifically, but rather my photo host was banned( http://www.photos1.blogger.com/ ). What that means is that somewhere on their (huge) website are photos that don’t pass the censor’s muster. I am guessing that for technical reasons they have to ban the whole site or none at all.

While I strongly disagree with censorship in principle, I am not terribly concerned if the media being banned is explicit internet pornography. Such a thing has little or no redeeming value, and is especially offensive in a place as conservative as the Gulf. It is my guess that the host site was most likely banned for this reason. Banning pictures like mine is one of the unintended consequences of censoring others.

In any case, sorry UAE! (we still like ya!) I jumped the gun, it was apparently NOT political censorship.

Traditional Qatari air conditioning. This is a badjeer, or wind tower. Hot air rises from within, causing cooler air to push downward. The resultant exchange creates a slight breeze. These used to be all over Qatar in the old days, now only a few are left.

Window Shopping...

Did I ever mention Qatar corn? Cups of corn with your choice of condiments... garlic, lemon, chili, butter, etc are amazingly popular here. There are stands selling the stuff everywhere. My kids love it!

Banned on the Run

I have recently discovered that all of the pictures from this blog have been banned in the UAE. Not the text, only the pictures.

I am actually quite baffled by that… I can think of four possible reasons… either it was because of the pictures of the camel jockeys (January archives), the picture of Fitri Iskandar’s wounds (April), the painting of women in traditional dress (March), or my daughter’s birth (January).

It would be strange to censor out the jockey pictures, considering that the UAE has joined Qatar in banning the practice. I took those myself, but similar photos have appeared in both the local and regional press.

The Fitri Iskandar case is a likely prospect, but those photos were taken from our local paper (I think that they are the only ones on this blog that are someone else’s). They are widely available in cyberspace, as are similar photos. I personally think that it’s vitally important that anyone who employs a maid be aware of these cases.

The painting of women in traditional dresses is a longshot… it’s completely innocuous despite the caption (an attempt at humor… “Qatari Women Unveiled”). It shows three ladies wearing long traditional dresses, without niqab. It’s a painting for crying out loud! LOL

My daughter’s birth photo does not show my wife at all. Although my daughter is technically naked, her position is such that nothing errr…. embarrassing… is revealed (can someone really be embarrassed by a newborn baby?).

My guess is that it was the maid photo… In any case, I had said before on this blog that both Qatar and the UAE had freedom of the press. I guess I have to retract that. Only Qatar seems committed to a free press. All Gulf countries censor internet pornography, but I have yet to see Qatar censor any political content… pretty much any view you could imagine is available here, and rightly so. If you trust folks to make up their own minds, they’ll usually call it right.

For you in the UAE, I’ll try to be descriptive in the captions…just use your imagination!

Qatari desert